


Kept in the Loop

by EternalFay



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, M/M, Pre-Slash, What if Liara hadn't been an idiot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-01
Updated: 2015-04-01
Packaged: 2018-03-20 19:20:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 12,110
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3661956
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EternalFay/pseuds/EternalFay
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>How would Kaidan's character arc be different if Liara had told him about the Lazarus Project and the Collectors?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

*Three months before the attack on Freedom's Progress*

Kaidan Alenko was lost. Entire colonies where disappearing at a time. There was no sign of any conflict, as if everyone just got up and walked away in the middle of their routines. The Alliance was scrambling to find out what was going on and having no success. But there was more to it than that.

Kaidan's promotion to Staff Commander made him privy to more things that the brass didn't want the grunts or the general public to know; things like Lieutenant Commander John Shepard being alive and working for Cerberus. Kaidan wracked his mind for explanations, but no matter how hard he thought, no matter how many scenarios he went through, only one presented itself: if he really was alive, then John Shepard was a traitor. Why else would he have faked his death? Why else would it take him so long to resurface? And in  
the employ of a terrorist group? Kaidan didn't want to believe it, but he couldn't let his personal feelings distort what was right in front of him.

Councilor Anderson and Admiral Hackett were no help. Kaidan approached them both about what he was seeing, only to find himself suddenly stonewalled by his normally dependable superiors. He knew they were seeing the same reports. They had put up a good front, but they seemed plenty confused in their own right. If Shepard were on an undercover mission, the human councilor and one the Alliance's highest ranking admirals would not be kept in the dark, and even if they were, why have Shepard fake his death that way. Images of the Normandy in flames suddenly flashed through Kaidan's mind.

Kaidan was snapped out of his musings by his communicator. It was one of the base guards.

"Commander Alenko? There's an asari here asking to speak to you. Says her name is Dr. Liara T’soni,” she said.

“Send her in immediately. Thank you.”

“Yes, sir.”

Five minutes later, a very familiar asari walked into Kaidan's office.

"It's good to see you again, Kaidan," Liara said as she returned his hug.

"You too, Liara. Why are you here?"

"Unfortunately, this isn't a social call."

As Liara accepted Kaidan's silent offer to take a seat, she said, "Kaidan, there are things you need to know, a lot of them unbelievable, but I need you to promise to hear me all the way through."

"Of course."

"I know you've been getting reports about Shepard being alive. And working with Cerberus," Liara said bluntly.

"Liara, I-how could you possibly know about that?"

"For almost two years now, I've been working as an information broker on Illium. I have sources in many places, including the Alliance. It is simply a matter of knowing who to talk  
to and how much to pay," she explained.

"So you know what's going on with Shepard?" Kaidan prompted. He didn't like the idea of anyone having moles in the Alliance, but if Liara had answers…

"About a month after he was killed," Liara began, "I got a tip that he was alive and on Omega. When I went to investigate, I instead found out that the Shadow Broker had retrieved his body and was trying to sell it. I saw it for myself. There is no doubt that Shepard was dead."

"Guess he didn't like Shepard keeping that info from him two years ago," Kaidan said dryly.

"Apparently not. He was trying to sell Shepard's body to the Collectors."

"I thought they were a myth," Kaidan interrupted.

"That's what they want everyone to think," Liara explained. "I suspect it is why they do not operate in stable regions of space. The Collectors are the ones who destroyed the Normandy. It appears that they hired the Shadow Broker to deliver Shepard's body to them so they could confirm that he was really dead."

"So how did Shepard go from being dead and in the Shadow Broker's hands to being alive and working with Cerberus?" Kaidan asked.

"Cerberus was looking for Shepard's body too," Liara said slowly. "They offered to help me save him from the Shadow Broker. There was little time and I could see no alternatives, so I accepted."

"But why didn't you bring his body back to the Alliance?"

"Cerberus said that they were developing technology that could bring him back. I know it's hard to believe, but if there was even a remote chance, I had to take it. The only alternative was to leave him dead for sure! So I…"

"So you gave his body to one of the Council and the Alliance's worst enemies," Kaidan said accusingly.

"I know it was beyond a long shot, but it may have worked," Liara said defensively. "You've seen the reports about Shepard being alive."

"That could just be Cerberus trying to manipulate us," Kaidan pointed out.

"But then why wait almost two years? Why would they need to recover Shepard's body for themselves if all they wanted was to manipulate the Alliance?" Liara demanded.

Kaidan realized that she had a point, but that was hardly enough to believe something so incredible.

"Even if they did… rebuild him, how can we be sure that Shepard is really himself? Control chips are not new technology. Or maybe they're just controlling his body with tech somehow." A small part of Kaidan started to hope that maybe what Liara was telling him was true, but he knew that accepting something like this at face value was extremely risky.

"The Illusive Man was very adamant that he, and all of us, need Shepard as he was, and I'm inclined to believe that he was telling the truth. It can't be a coincidence that only a month after we destroyed a Reaper, the Collectors appeared out of nowhere to kill the person who made it possible. If the Collectors aren't connected to the Reapers, then they had no reason to attack like that, so that must mean that the battle against Sovereign has the Reapers scared."

"That's a lot of supposition, Liara," Kaidan said.

"It's a big coincidence if it's not true," Liara retorted. "I know how much this all stretches credulity. The Illusive Man claims that Cerberus' ultimate goal is the advancement of humanity. I don't believe for a second that it stops there, especially not after what I saw when we raided their bases two years ago, but I believe it is at least a portion of the truth."

"Cerberus' human supremacist leanings are well-known within the Alliance," Kaidan conceded.

"Exactly, so whatever their goal is, it puts them in opposition to the Reapers. I think the husks we saw on Chasca two years ago were Cerberus' attempt to co-opt Reaper technology for their own use, like Saren attempted at first. So regardless of their real motives, I believe the human saying, 'the enemy of my enemy is my friend' applies here," said Liara.

"If this is all true," Kaidan clarified. "I'll need to see Shepard for myself, or at least hear from someone else who did, before I really believe it. But I think there's enough to work around the possibility. First things first, what are your plans after you leave?"

"I have a ship scheduled to leave for Tuchanka tomorrow," Liara explained, relieved that Kaidan trusted Liara enough to act on what she was telling him, even if he didn't fully believe it. "Getting Wrex to talk to me should not be a problem. Next is Tali; convincing the Admiralty Board to let me talk to her could be difficult. Finding Garrus will be the hardest step, so I'm saving him for last. Hopefully it won't cause any problems if I can't find him. I thought I should talk to you first because your position in the Alliance would make you more vulnerable to the Illusive Man's efforts to isolate Shepard from us. I will also be hunting down the Shadow Broker. He is clearly not an ally against the Reapers, and he needs to pay for what he's done. What will you be doing?" Liara asked.

"I think I might be able to convince Anderson or Hackett to send me on an "infiltration" mission, to ascertain Shepard's actions. It will just cause more problems if I desert. If that doesn't work, I can at least collect useful intel," Kaidan said.

"Good," Liara said. She tapped a few keys on her omni-tool to send something to Kaidan's.

"This is a code we'll all send to each other if one of us confirms that Shepard is really alive, as well as how much control Cerberus seems to have over him. And, Kaidan… thank you. I know it takes a lot of trust to even consider all the things I've told you."

Kaidan thought about the lengths Liara was going to for Shepard.

"After hearing all this, Liara, I have to ask. Were you and Shepard…" Kaidan trailed off.

"He turned me down," Liara answered sadly.

"I'm sorry."

"It's all right. I… can't control other people's feelings."

When Liara stood to leave, Kaidan hugged her again. They said their goodbyes and promised to keep each other updated. Alone in his office again, Kaidan immediately went to his terminal to send a message. He needed to speak to the admiral.  
\---  
AN: I firmly believe that if this conversation had happened in canon, things would have gone very differently.


	2. Chapter 2

"You're talking to a legend. And a ghost."

Commander Shepard didn't know what to expect when he saw Kaidan again. His face was a little more worn, and he was beginning to develop some grey around his temples, but Shepard would still recognize him anywhere.

"This wasn't how I expected us to run into each other," Kaidan said as he shook Shepard's hand. "It's good to see you too, Garrus." 

Garrus nodded.

"You expected to run into me?" Shepard asked.

"The Alliance has been getting reports of you being alive for months now."

"So much for security," Miranda interjected.

Kaidan ignored her. "The reports are pretty ugly. To someone who doesn't know the whole story, it looks like you faked your death and turned traitor."

"I gathered as much when I talked to Anderson and the council."

"I'm not sure you realize just how bad it is," Kaidan replied. "There are things you need to know and I'd rather not discuss it with anyone from Cerberus in earshot."

"We've given Shepard everything he needs," Miranda retorted.

"I'll be the judge of that, Miranda!" Shepard snapped.

"I'll make sure she stays put while the two of you talk," Garrus suggested.

"You sure?" Kaidan asked. "It would be a good idea for you to know these things too."

"Shepard can fill me in later."

Kaidan nodded and motioned for Shepard to follow him. Miranda did not look happy.

Once Garrus and Miranda were out of sight and out of earshot, Shepard said, "I can't help but notice that Garrus is the only member of the crew that was surprised to see me alive. Joker and Chakwas I can understand; they wouldn't have joined Cerberus if they hadn't told them, but what about you and Tali?"

"How much did Cerberus tell you about how they got your body?" Kaidan asked.

"Not much. What does that have to do with anything?"

"I need to get a feel for what they've been telling you," Kaidan began. "About a month after you were killed, Liara got a tip that you were alive and on Omega. It was fake, obviously. Instead, she found out that the Shadow Broker had retrieved your body and was trying to sell it to the Collectors."

"Why would the Collectors want my body?" Shepard interrupted.

"We think they were trying to confirm that you were really dead."

"One more thing," Shepard said before Kaidan could continue. "When I asked the Illusive Man about the rest of you, he said that Liara had become one of the Shadow Broker's agents. Why would Liara do that if she had to fight him for my body?"

"He lied to you," Kaidan replied bluntly. "That's good to know, though. It confirms our suspicions that he's trying to isolate you from the rest of us. Liara isn't working for the Shadow Broker. Quite the opposite, in fact: she's trying to kill him."

"And how did Cerberus get involved?" Shepard asked.

"They ran into Liara while they were searching for your body themselves and offered to help," Kaidan explained. "Once you were successfully recovered, they told Liara that they were working on technology that could bring you back. She knew it was beyond a long shot, but she took it. You'll have to talk to Liara herself about her reasons."

"And how did you and Tali find out?" Shepard asked.

"Wrex knows too," Kaidan started. "About three months before the Collectors took Freedom's Progress, the Alliance started getting the reports I mentioned earlier. They talked about things like various Cerberus projects you were participating in; had been participating in for quite some time. If I hadn't found out what was really going on…" Kaidan shook his head. "About a week after the reports started appearing, Liara came to visit me. She told me everything that I told you."

Shepard interrupted. "How did Liara even know about the reports?"

"For the last two years, she's been an information broker on Illium. She said it was just a matter of knowing which palms to grease. She came to talk to me immediately because she suspected that the Illusive Man would try to isolate you, and that my position in the Alliance could make me more vulnerable. I didn't fully believe her at first. Someone coming back from the dead? It just seemed so… incredible. I'm still having trouble wrapping my head around it."

"Try experiencing it directly," Shepard retorted darkly.

"Sorry. It didn't occur to me that…"

"It's okay," Shepard said apologetically. "I'm… just trying not to think about it at all."

"Anyway," Kaidan continued. "She went to Tuchanka next. Getting Wrex to talk to her wasn't hard. Tali was a bit trickier because of the Admiralty board, but Liara got through eventually. She tried to find Garrus to fill him in too, but no one knew where to start looking. We were worried it might cause problems with him. It's good to see that's not the case. After Tali met you on Freedom's Progress, she sent us all a coded message confirming that you were alive and not following Cerberus' orders."

"Cerberus didn't tell me any of those things," Shepard said.

"I'm not surprised. You mentioned Dr. Chakwas earlier. Did you have her examine you?"

"Yeah. She didn't find anything that looked like a control device. I suppose they could have come up with one that she couldn't find, but Miranda Lawson, the director of Project Lazarus, actually seemed upset that she wasn't allowed to put in a control chip. She could have been lying of course, but she strikes me as being too proud to fake pouting," Shepard explained.

"Guess the Illusive Man is confidant in his ability to manipulate you the old-fashioned way," Kaidan observed.

"Looks like," Shepard agreed. "I appreciate you telling me all this. There's something else I need to know: can you come with me?"

"I want to, Shepard," Kaidan said. "But I can't. When Liara first told me what was going on, I tried to talk Anderson and Hackett into sending me to "investigate" you. They both said no. Even with everything our people sacrificed two years ago, there are still factions in the other species that are waiting for any chance to jump on us. If the Alliance shows even the slightest sign of sympathizing with Cerberus it would turn into a political nightmare. Anderson, Hackett, and I are already pushing things just keeping the Alliance and council from interfering with you."

"And if you joined me anyway, you'd be charged with treason and desertion," Shepard conceded. "I don't suppose you could get a leave of absence."

Kaidan shook his head. "Now that we've talked, I'd be put under suspicion just for asking."

"It won't feel right doing this without you," Shepard said sadly.  
"I know, but someone needs to look at the long term while you deal with the Collectors. Just… be careful. I believe in you, but I don't trust Cerberus any further than I can throw   
them without my biotics," Kaidan warned.

"Neither do I," Shepard said.

"Okay. I… need to go make my reports. If I find anything that might be able to help you, I'll let you know," Kaidan said quietly.

"Kaidan," Shepard put a hand on Kaidan's shoulder. "I'll come back this time. I promise."

"I'll hold you to that."

Neither man looked back as they parted ways. Shepard wanted Kaidan with him so badly, but it was enough to know that he was still looking out for him. 

Garrus intercepted Shepard as he got back. "How did it go?" he asked.

"About as well as it could, all things considered. He can't join us, but he'll still try to help out."

Garrus just nodded as Shepard activated his communicator.

"Come pick us up Joker. I've had enough of this place."


	3. Chapter 3

*Triggered after recruiting Tali, Thane, and Samara*

_Commander Shepard_

_I have intel that may be relevant to your mission._

_Meet me on the Citadel. I will transmit my exact coordinates to your omni-tool when you arrive. Rest assured that it will be in a public space._

_You are welcome to bring backup if you feel you must. Just be sure that anyone accompanying you has no association with your current employer._

_I look forward to seeing you._

"EDI, can you trace the message I just closed back to its sender?" Shepard asked.

"Give me a moment," EDI replied. "Done. It came from a public terminal on the Citadel. The terminal was hacked to remove the identification requirement. Without access to time-stamped security footage from the Citadel, it is not possible to ascertain the identity of the sender."

"Thanks," Shepard said. "We need to go to the Citadel anyway. Set the course, Joker."

"Aye-aye, Commander."

As the _Normandy_ flew to the Citadel, Shepard retreated to his cabin to go over the latest mission reports. About an hour before they arrived, Miranda walked in.

"Shepard, Yeoman Chambers told me about the message you received a few hours ago. The one that cannot be traced to anyone and told you not to bring any backup associated with Cerberus. Do you really think it is wise to meet this person?" Miranda asked.

"He didn't say I couldn't bring any backup at all," Shepard pointed out. "And he said that the meeting would be in a public place."

"To make it easier to abduct you in plain sight?" Miranda suggested.

"What do you take me for, Miranda?"

"Shepard…"

"I know you don't like it, Miranda," Shepard began. "But if it gets us more intel on the Collectors, it's worth the risk. I've already decided to bring Garrus and Tali with me to be safe."

"And if that's not enough?" Miranda asked.

"I've been in much worse situations. So have Garrus and Tali," Shepard pointed out.

"That doesn't' guarantee your ability to escape anything you encounter in the future. What if…"

"Look, Miranda," Shepard interrupted. "If you really want me to trust Cerberus, you need to give me some freedom to get help from other sources. This one has gone out of his way to give me a reason to trust him without actually revealing who he is. We'll know more when we get to the Citadel and he tells me where to meet. If there's something suspicious about the meeting place, then I'll think about taking more backup. Until then, I've ordered EDI to alert me if someone else leaves the ship, and if I find out that someone has hacked into my omni-tool there will be hell to pay."

"Very well, Commander," Miranda said tightly. After she stalked out of the captain's cabin, Shepard just rolled his eyes and went back to his datapads.

* * *

When Shepard walked onto the dock, flanked by Garrus and Tali, his omni-tool pinged immediately. Shepard raised an eyebrow when he saw the coordinates. Why would his source want to meet him there?

Shepard went to the upper wards as he was told. When he saw the familiar sight of the Citadel's arms stretching before him, he couldn't help but think of the last time he was here. His eyes traveled to the viewpoint, where he noticed a familiar dark-haired human leaning on the fence. Shepard moved to join him as Garrus and Tali positioned themselves to watch for any listeners.

"Shepard."

"Kaidan. So… what's with the 'cloak and dagger' routine?"

"I wanted to give Cerberus as little ammo as possible," Kaidan explained.

"Fair enough. Why here?" Shepard couldn't help but ask.

"I thought you'd be more likely to come if you had some sort of hint about who you would be talking to, and Cerberus has no reason to think this place means anything to us."

"Doesn't feel like it's been two years," Shepard said sadly.

"I guess it wouldn't to you. To be honest, the extra time hasn't made it much easier for me either," Kaidan said.

"I can't help but wonder what Ash would think of all this."

"I imagine she'd be raising hell with the brass," Kaidan said with a laugh.

"Sounds like her. Speaking of the brass, have they done anything with your report on Horizon?" Shepard asked.

"They're convinced that the Collectors are a threat now," Kaidan began. "They've started looking more seriously into countermeasures. Though they're also using the husks as an excuse to pin this on the geth instead of acknowledging the Reapers."

"Figures," Shepard said tersely. "What kind of countermeasures are they thinking about?"

"A contact in R&D tells me that they're looking into repelling the seekers with shields and biotic barriers. They're using the footage recovered from Horizon to figure out the right frequency."

"They really think that will work?" Shepard asked.

"In theory. It's not exactly something that can be easily tested," Kaidan pointed out.

"I'll keep it in mind just the same," Shepard said.

"So… about the real reason I called you here," Kaidan began.

"I knew it wasn't just to reminisce and give me a sit-rep."

"No, it wasn't," Kaidan agreed. "I've been given a mission. A Blue Suns team on the planet Joab has uncovered a Prothean beacon."

"A beacon?!" Shepard asked, startled.

"Yeah. I've been assigned to take a team in and recover it. The council wants it for study of course, but it won't be much use without the Cipher. That's where you come in," Kaidan said.

"What makes you think this beacon will tell me anything the other two didn't?"

"I took a few scans of the Virmire beacon after you used it," Kaidan began. "It was in better shape than the one on Eden Prime, but there was still a lot of damage. It was dumb luck that the information on Ilos was still in there. You still don't have the full message. Preliminary reports on the Joab beacon say that it's in better shape than the other two, so it should have at least some of the missing pieces."

"And you think the extra information involves the Collectors somehow?"

"The Collectors are servants of the Reapers. It's possible that the Protheans knew about them and included it in their warning."

"It's a long shot," Shepard said.

"I know, but we need all the leads we can get. Even if it doesn't include anything about the Collectors specifically, it could still give you something that could help, either against the Collectors or the Reapers themselves."

"How is this going to work?" Shepard asked.

"I have about three days to prep my team. That should give you enough time to go in, get the message from the beacon, and get out before anyone knows you were there. Then I come in and bring the beacon back to the Citadel without anyone knowing the difference," Kaidan explained.

"The Blue Suns won't give up something like a beacon easily," Shepard pointed out. "Should I expect anything different from them?"

"They'll have brought in some of their most elite troops, but no unusual tricks."

"I appreciate this, Kaidan," Shepard said as Kaidan sent the exact coordinates to Shepard's omni-tool.

"Just make it count," Kaidan replied. "I need to go start my preparations. Tell Garrus and Tali I said 'hi.'" With that, Kaidan walked away.

As Kaidan vanished into the crowd, Shepard motioned for Garrus and Tali to follow him. They left to talk Captain Bailey about Fade. Once their business on the Citadel was complete, they would find out what was missing from the Eden Prime and Virmire beacons.

* * *

a/n: This AU also applies on the meta level. I figure that since Liara and Wrex both helped with sidequests, Kaidan would have too. In this scenario, completing the mission on Joab would trigger the Collector Ship mission


	4. Chapter 4

“How’d it go in there, Major?”

“Major?” Shepard said in surprise as he turned to see Kaidan walking toward him and Anderson.

“You hadn’t heard?” Anderson asked, amused.

“No. I’m a bit out of touch these days.”

“Sorry about that,” Kaidan said. “It’s mostly a formality anyway.”

“I did hear about _that_ ,” Shepard said happily. “Second human Spectre. Congratulations.”

“Thanks. I wanted to tell you personally, but the council ordered me to keep my distance while you were under house arrest,” Kaidan explained.

“Fair enough. So…” Shepard gestured toward the committee room.

“Your report about the Collector Base raised quite a few eyebrows,” Kaidan began. “It finally convinced people that the Collectors were a real threat, but it wasn’t enough for anyone to believe that the Reapers were involved. Most of them still think that the Collectors were working with the geth because of the husks.”

“Of course they are,” Shepard said tiredly. “What about Aratoht? I know why they had to lock me up over it, but my talk with Harbinger must have gotten their attention.”

“It’s even worse than when we tried to tell them about talking to Sovereign. There are more people calling you crazy now than there were when you first came back,” Kaidan said sadly.

Shepard was angry, but before he could form a response a female officer alerted Anderson that the defense committee was ready.

“Good luck in there, Commander,” Kaidan said.

Shepard nodded in thanks as he walked away. As he walked toward the committee room, Shepard noticed James Vega approach Kaidan.

“You must know the commander pretty well,” Vega said.

“That’s one way of putting it,” Kaidan replied dryly.

Shepard simply smirked.

* * *

Kaidan did not think the phrase “all Hell broke loose” could be any more accurate than it was at that moment. Everyone watched in horror as Reaper capital ships descended through the clouds while Shepard was talking to the defense committee. One Reaper shot something near the building. People and furniture went flying as windows shattered and electronics exploded from the intense force of the beam. It was only the reflexive use of his biotics that held Kaidan in place and kept him from being shredded.

As the dust started to settle, Kaidan looked desperately for any sign of other survivors as he suppressed the urge to vomit at the smell of blood and burning flesh. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Lieutenant Vega regaining consciousness and rushed over to help him.

“Major?” Vega groaned. “What happened?”

“The Reapers are here,” Kaidan explained as he helped Vega to his feet. “We need to get to the _Normandy_.”

“We can’t just leave these people!” Vega argued.

“It’s too late for them. Every moment we spend here gives the Reapers another chance to fry us,” Kaidan said as he looked around for any sign of another survivor.

“So you’re just going to run off and abandon everyone here?” Vega demanded.

“The alternative is to stay and get killed by the Reapers. Or worse. If that’s what you want, I’m not going to waste my time dragging you out,” Kaidan snapped. He stormed over to a damaged weapons locker. He was able to force it open and was relieved to find several functioning Avengers inside.

“God help me,” Vega muttered as he walked over to the locker to grab his own Avenger. As he modified his weapon with incendiary ammo he heard Kaidan say something to Anderson on his communicator.

“Let’s go,” Kaidan said, motioning toward the empty window and erecting a barrier.

As they left the grounds, Kaidan was contacted by Anderson again. They agreed to meet at the _Normandy_. Kaidan hid his relief at hearing Anderson say that he was patching in Shepard.

On the way to the dock, they were set upon by a swarm of husks. Kaidan immediately reached out with his biotics, wrapping about a dozen of them in a blue sphere that lifted them off the ground. Kaidan heard the familiar sound of an assault rifle and saw the husks he missed fall to the ground in flames. He was impressed that he didn’t even need to give the order to shoot the stragglers. Kaidan immediately sent a throw field at the husks that were floating helplessly in the air, launching them so high and so fast that they seemed to disappear among the chaos of the invasion. Kaidan knew from his previous experience with husks that they would not survive the fall, so he didn’t wait before he began moving again.

As the _Normandy_ came into view, Kaidan and Vega were besieged by grotesque creatures that neither had encountered before. Their skin was a mottled brown, their heads seamlessly merged into their rounded bodies with no sign of a neck. They each had four glowing eyes and a human husk welded to an arm.

“What the hell are those things!?” Vega shouted as he dived into cover.                      

“I think they’re batarian husks,” Kaidan said as he hit one with a neural shock, having noticed the creatures’ eyes. “The Reapers must have converted them on their way to Earth.”

When the first wave of creature was killed, both men were horrified to see another wave rush over and consume the remains of their comrades. The creatures that did so rapidly grew some sort of armored exoskeleton.

“Looks like we’re going to need to make sure there aren’t any corpses,” Kaidan declared. Springing from cover, he reached out with a reave field. Dark energy ate away at the creatures’ flesh, making short work of the armor gained from consuming one of their own. Kaidan wildly sprayed his rifle into the monsters while their own gunfire impacted uselessly against his reinforced barrier. Just when the biotic field was about to dissipate, Kaidan launched two throw fields, carefully aiming them at targets that were spread apart. The conflicting dark energy fields reacted violently, producing two brilliant blue explosions that ripped through the creatures. The few that survived were quickly finished by the last stage of Kaidan’s reave technique.

Vega had directed his focus at a different group of creatures that had been attempting to flank the two soldiers. He had a personal shield-generator, but without a proper suit of armor he couldn’t fortify himself against their attacks, forcing him to fight more conservatively than he preferred. Making sure that incendiary ammo was still active on his rifle, Vega popped out to shoot the creatures. His shields were nearly depleted, but he got what he needed; the creatures were burning even as they continued their attack. While he waited for his shields to recharge, Vega hit a small switch on his rifle. The next time he left cover, it was to send a carnage round at one of the creatures in the middle of their formation. The force of the blast violently ignited the chemicals perpetuating the burn from Vega’s incendiary ammo. Flames nearly disintegrated the creatures. The smell of already rotting flesh being ignited made Vega want to retch. He prepared to fire on the few remaining creatures, only to watch them be lifted into the air and thrown into a nearby wall with bone-crushing force.

“It looks like that’s the last of them for now,” Kaidan said, checking his surroundings to be sure. “Come on.”

Both men wasted no more time boarding the _Normandy._ It was Kaidan’s first time on the _SR-2_ , but he had heard enough about it from Garrus, Tali, and Liara to figure out where the cockpit was.

“Joker, get us out of here!” Kaidan barked as he burst into the cockpit.

“What about Shepard and Anderson?” Joker asked.

“They won’t be able to get to us here. We need to pick them up,” Kaidan explained.

“Where the hell are your guards?” Vega asked as the _Normandy_ lifted into the air.

“EDI faked an emergency in the war room and locked them in,” Joker explained.

“And the retrofit team?” Vega asked, figuring there was a better time to ask who the hell EDI was.

“Locked in the lower levels and cut off from all of the _Normandy’s_ systems.”

“How are we going to keep the Reapers from shooting us down?” Vega demanded to know.

“The stealth drive combined with the Reaper IFF makes us invisible as long as we don’t send out any signals they don’t use.”

While Joker and Vega were talking, Kaidan contacted Shepard and Anderson and patched EDI in so she could pinpoint their location. She did so with no effort, but things went wrong when the _Normandy_ got too close to a dreadnought that had fallen too far into the atmosphere. Joker and EDI barely had enough time to pull the _Normandy_ out of the lethal blast range, but the shock still knocked everyone else off their feet. More worrying was that the blast had cut off communication with Shepard and Anderson. Kaidan couldn’t contact them and EDI couldn’t track their location. All Kaidan could do was hope that they found some other way to lead the _Normandy_ to them.

* * *

Shepard’s mind was reeling. He barely had time to process the attack on Earth and Anderson’s decision to stay behind when Hackett asked him to go to Mars. He’d caught something about Liara, but what could possibly be going on there?

“This is loco!” James declared. “What the hell is the admiral sending us to Mars for?”

“I don’t know,” Shepard said, trying to hold back his frustration.

“Maybe Liara found something,” Kaidan suggested.

“What?” Shepard and Vega asked in unison.

“She’s been on Mars for the last four months, trying to find anything in the archives that could help us stop the Reapers,” Kaidan explained. “About a week ago, she sent me a message saying that she might have found a lead and that she would call me again once she knew for sure. That was the last time I heard from her.”

“Maybe we’ll find out more when we get there,” Shepard said, sounding more hopeful. “At the very least, this is our only chance to get her out of there. Both of you grab your gear.”

The trip to Mars did not take long. All three were taken by surprise when they encountered Cerberus troopers outside the station. The enemy was dispatched with little difficulty, but everyone was disturbed that Cerberus was there at all. Waiting for the entrance to the research station to depressurize seemed as good a time as any to discuss the matter.

“Shepard, when you were working with Cerberus, did they say anything that might explain this attack?” Kaidan asked.

“Nothing I can think of,” Shepard said. “They were rather adamant about not discussing their other projects with me.”

“I thought they were fighting the Reapers like we are. Why would they attack now?” Kaidan wondered.

“Could it have something to do with whatever Dr. T’Soni found?” Vega suggested.

“Maybe,” Shepard said thoughtfully. “When I destroyed the Collector base, the Illusive Man tried to convince me to keep it so we could use it against the Reapers. He was furious when I destroyed it. If he’s looking for alternatives…”

“Maybe someone inside can tell us more,” Kaidan said as the door to the hanger opened.

They were surprised to walk in and see Liara jump out of a vent and kill her pursuers. A part of Shepard had been expecting a rescue mission similar to Therum. Liara confirmed their suspicions that she had found something, and that Cerberus wanted it. Shepard ordered Vega to wait at the shuttle. He didn’t like to weaken his manpower, but they needed cover and Vega was the best qualified to handle the shuttle out of the four of them.

Fighting through the station was not particularly difficult. Kaidan and Liara were both even stronger than when Shepard fought beside them before. As they saw what Cerberus had done to the rest of the staff, Shepard found himself wondering just how much Cerberus had been keeping from him, and how extensive their manipulation was. He put those feelings aside to comfort Liara over how hopeless everything seemed.

After getting past the automatic turret, they found themselves at a roadblock. Shepard was impressed by Kaidan’s suggestion that they take a communicator off a dead trooper and try to trick the others. When they did so, however, they were horrified by what they saw under the helmet.

“He looks like… a husk,” Shepard said.

“Yeah, he does,” Kaidan said. “Shepard, we thought that if the Illusive Man added anything that wasn’t just to bring you back it would be some sort of control device. Chakwas wasn’t looking for something like this. What if…”

Shepard interrupted. “Kaidan, even if we didn’t think to look for something like this, we would have found something.”

“How can you be sure?” Kaidan asked. “You know what Cerberus is like, and you were completely at their mercy for two years. There’s not exactly a precedent for what they did with you.”

“You’ve seen husks before,” Shepard pointed out. “Even if what Cerberus is doing to their soldiers isn’t the quite the same thing, don’t you think I would have started showing some sign of this by now? Do you think I could have destroyed the Collector base against orders or come back to the Alliance if they’d stuck something like this in me?”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right,” Kaidan said sheepishly. “I’m sorry. It’s just… I lost you once already, and it felt like I’d lost a limb. I guess I’m a bit paranoid about something happening to you again.”

“It’s okay. I’d be worried too if I were in your position,” Shepard said. “And for what it’s worth, I don’t plan on going anywhere for at least another hundred-twenty years.”

“So you planned your first death?” Kaidan asked, raising an eyebrow.

“No,” Shepard admitted awkwardly, “but this time I’ll make sure it won’t happen. You know what I mean.”

“Right,” Kaidan said dryly. “Come on. Let’s draw out those troopers.”

* * *

Everything seemed to go wrong once they got to the archives. If Vega hadn’t shown up when he did, they probably would have lost the data. Shepard honestly didn’t know whether he should kiss Vega or punch him for his methods.

While Shepard talked to Vega about their next move, Kaidan went to help Liara, who was closest to the crash. It was right after she reminded everyone that they needed to get the data that Eva burst out of the wreckage. Her artificial epidermis and hair were gone, but she looked no worse for wear functionally. Kaidan immediately pushed Liara to a safe distance and attacked Eva with his biotics, only to find them dispersed by some sort of advanced shielding. Kaidan was so shocked that he didn’t have time to react before he was backhanded and lifted into the air by his helmet.

“Let him go! Now!” Shepard demanded, his pistol trained on them both.

Eva ignored him, raising her hand to her communicator. “Orders?”

Kaidan knew that any answer the Illusive Man gave wouldn’t end well for him, so he didn’t wait for him to give one. Seeing no other option, he slammed his omni-tool into the arm that was keeping him suspended. Everyone else watched in horror as blue lightning arced over both figures for several seconds.

Kaidan’s desperate ploy worked. Eva lost her grip on him as she stumbled backwards. The moment Kaidan was out of the line of fire, Shepard unloaded a thermal clip into the mech. Eva didn’t even have time to prepare another attack before she fell to the ground, motionless.

“James, grab that thing!” Shepard barked, motioning to the prone mech as he and Liara rushed to Kaidan’s side. Relief swelled through him as they saw Kaidan blinking through his helmet’s visor.

“Goddess, Kaidan, are you all right?” Liara asked.

“I think so,” Kaidan said tentatively. “My shields absorbed most of the shock. The headache’s not as bad as the ones I get from my implants.”

“Don’t ever do that to me again,” Shepard said as he helped Kaidan to his feet.

“I promise nothing.”

Joker interrupted them over the comm as the _Normandy_ landed. “Commander, we’ve got Reaper signatures in orbit!”

The squad wasted no time rushing up the loading ramp, Vega carrying Eva over his shoulder. The _Normandy_ took off as Reapers appeared in the sky.

Shepard decided to keep Eva in the AI core for lack of any better options. Kaidan and Liara immediately got to work recovering the data she stole while Shepard ordered Joker to head for the Citadel.

“Commander, we are receiving a hail from Admiral Hackett,” EDI said.

“Go ahead, Shepard. We’ve got this,” Kaidan told him.

Liara walked in with the recovered data while Shepard was talking to Hackett. He turned to her once the admiral disconnected.

“Where’s Kaidan?”

“He’s running some scans on himself, making sure there’s no damage from what happened on Mars,” Liara explained. “He plans to get a proper examination once we reach the Citadel.”

Shepard talked a bit with Liara about how hard it was to believe that they had something that could stop the Reapers before heading back to check on things.

* * *

When they arrived at the Citadel, Shepard was surprised when Armando Bailey greeted them. He was not surprised that the council wanted to see him immediately.

“Commander,” Kaidan said to Bailey, “can you tell me where the nearest medical center is? We had an… incident, before we got here, and I need to be checked out.”

“You want Huerta Memorial. It’s the best on the Citadel,” Bailey said.

“Thanks.” Kaidan turned to Shepard. “I can’t really tell the council anything that you can’t, so I’ll have this taken care of while you talk to them.”

“Right. I’ll come see you as soon as I’m done.”

Shepard had not expected the meeting with the council to go well, but he was still disappointed that they wouldn’t help. He had not been expecting Councilor Sparatus to offer anything, but when he pointed Shepard in the direction of Primarch Fedorian, Shepard couldn’t help but be grateful to him.

As promised, Shepard went to Huerta Memorial Hospital to check on Kaidan. Finding out that Dr. Michelle was in charge was a pleasant surprise. She directed Shepard to Kaidan’s exam room after a brief chat to catch up.

Shepard walked into the exam room to see a very familiar doctor checking Kaidan over.

“Dr. Chakwas? What are you doing here?”

She turned around to face Shepard. “It’s good to see you again, Commander. I came as soon as I heard one of the _Normandy’s_ crew had been injured.”

“She insisted on examining me personally,” Kaidan said dryly. “You got here just in time for the diagnosis.”

Chakwas chuckled as she turned back to Kaidan. “As you suspected, your hardsuit’s shield-capacitor absorbed the shock from your attack, so you managed to avoid electrocuting yourself. You did come dangerously close to damaging your amp, however. Your worst injury is some bruising on your skull from where that mech was crushing your helmet.”

“So I can get back in the action right away?” Kaidan asked.

“I would prefer you rested for a few days, but I know what we’re facing, and I know you. I do have to ask that you at least take extra care to avoid head injuries until the bruising has healed.”

“I can handle that.”

“Good. Now, Shepard, when the two of you are done in here, I would like to speak to you out in the lobby.”

“Of course.”

After Chakwas left, Shepard turned his attention to Kaidan. “Are you sure you want to get back in the fight right away? You did mention having a headache back on Mars.”

“I’ve had worse migraines and kept going,” Kaidan pointed out. “Besides, you know even better than I do that we really can’t afford to take that much time off.”

“Fair enough,” Shepard conceded. “So, got any plans?”

“While you were talking to Udina, Tevos came by to talk to me about what I was going to do next. She had places she wanted to send me, but I told her that I intend to stay on the _Normandy_. Knowing you, you’ll want to unite the galaxy and get that device we found on Mars built,” Kaidan said. “You’ll need all the help you can get for that.”

“Are you sure? If you can do more somewhere else…”

“I’m sure,” Kaidan insisted. “There are plenty of things I can help with remotely, and to be honest, I don’t trust Tevos’s priorities. Not after what she said when you asked for help building the device.”

“How do you know about that?” Shepard asked.

“She gave me an overview of your meeting. It wasn’t hard to put things together.”

“Are you really sure about this Kaidan? I don’t want to hold you back,” Shepard admitted.

Kaidan shook his head and got of the exam table. Putting his hands on Shepard’s shoulders, he said, “Shepard, I’m not going anywhere. We started this together, and that’s how we’re going to end it.”

“Okay,” Shepard said, smiling. “So, anything you need to do before we go back to the _Normandy_?”

“My suit’s shield-capacitor is a lost cause, so I need to get it replaced. I also need to get my helmet fixed so it’s not pressing into my head. Other than that, pretty much everything I own was back on Earth. Except for my armor, all I have is what I’m wearing now, so I’ll have to pick up some essentials.”

“All right. I’ll see you back there.”

* * *

After Shepard went over the ship and checking on the rest of the crew, he found Kaidan in the starboard observatory.

“Hey, Kaidan. Settling in?”

Kaidan turned to face him. “Yeah. Didn’t have much to unpack, but I kind of like living lean.”

“Good,” Shepard said. “So, what do you think of the new _Normandy_?”

“Whatever else I can say about Cerberus, they know what they’re doing with ships. This thing blows the old _Normandy_ out of the water.”

“Yeah,” Shepard agreed. “Anyway, I’ve been thinking.”

“Uh-oh.”

“Funny. Anyway, it occurred to me that we haven’t had a real chance to talk since I came back. Every time we’ve seen it other it wasn’t much more than a sit-rep. How about you come up to my cabin later so we can catch up properly?” Shepard suggested.

“That sounds good,” Kaidan said. “I have a few things I need to finish up, so just call me up when you’re ready.”

* * *

Kaidan couldn’t believe his eyes when he walked into the captain’s cabin.

“Who the hell puts a cabin like this in a warship?” he asked, eying the fish tank.

“I think they were just trying to make me comfortable so they could manipulate me,” Shepard said. “Once I dug out all the listening devices I figured I might as well enjoy it.”

Kaidan just shook his head in disbelief.

“So,” Shepard said as he held up a whiskey bottle, “I picked this up while we were on the Citadel. What do you say we crack it open?”

“You really know the way to a guy’s heart, Shepard,” Kaidan said with a smile as he took the offered glass.

* * *

“You headbutted a krogan!?” Kaidan asked. As familiar as he was with Shepard’s modus operandi, he was still shocked by what he had just heard.

“It worked when Wrex did it,” Shepard said defensively. “Besides, Uvenk was an asshole. Garrus and Tali will both tell you that he deserved it. The shaman thought it was hilarious.”

They had talked for hours. Shepard told Kaidan everything about the mission against the Collectors, from waking up in the Lazarus Station to turning himself in after the mess with the Alpha Relay. Even with the reports he had gotten, Kaidan enjoyed hearing everything straight from Shepard’s mouth.

The conversation turned to what Kaidan had been doing in the previous two years. Kaidan told Shepard about missions he had done, the students he was training, and his promotions. When Shepard asked about Kaidan’s family, Kaidan looked sad and worried like Shepard had expected, but he also looked like he was leaving something out. Shepard decided that it wasn’t the time to press the issue, so he turned the subject to the improvements he’d noticed in Kaidan’s biotics. Things got interesting at that point. Kaidan talked about a doctor at Alliance HQ that had taken Kaidan on as her pet project and the regimen she had him on.

“My biotics are stronger than ever. I don’t know if it’s the meds, or… Maybe some things just get better with age.”

“Or maybe you have,” Shepard said before he could stop himself. Shepard immediately berated himself mentally for saying that.

Kaidan had his glass half-way to his lips when he stopped to stare at Shepard. “Are you… flirting with me, Commander? Wait. Don’t tell me. Let me live in the illusion,” he said before Shepard could answer.

Shepard figured it was best not to push his luck. It was enough for the moment that Kaidan at least wasn’t repulsed by the idea. The possibility that he would be receptive was more than Shepard dared to hope for.

“So,” Shepard said, deciding it would be a good time to change the subject, “how did you become the second human Spectre?”

“It turns out that the Spectres believed our original warnings after Sovereign’s attack,” Kaidan began.

“Really?”

Kaidan nodded. “Their options were limited with the council and their own governments denying everything, but they still prepared for the invasion behind the scenes.”

“What does this have to do with you becoming one?” Shepard interrupted.

“Jondum Bau – he was recruited from the Salarian Special Tasks Groups – decided that, between my record and my part in stopping Sovereign, it would be a good idea to bring me into the loop. While you were dealing with the Collectors, he was evaluating me, like Nihlus was supposed to do with you. That mission to Joab I told you about was one of my tests.”

“Did he know that you tipped me off about the beacon?”

“Yes,” Kaidan said awkwardly. “I thought I covered my tracks, but he wasn’t fooled for a moment. Fortunately, he was nice enough not to say anything until after I was inducted. He was actually impressed; said it was proof that I understand what being a Spectre is about.”

“Lucky you,” Shepard said, smiling. “So, what kinds of things were the Spectres doing?”

“They were mostly trying to get their militaries prepared; not an easy task when the brass denies the threat, but they made some progress. They also focused on weeding out indoctrinated agents,” Kaidan explained. “Korym Venkel – she was originally part of the Turian Blackwatch – came up with an idea to detect indoctrinated agents trying to get onto the Citadel. Of course, with the council refusing to acknowledge the Reapers, she couldn’t present it that way, so she repackaged it into a plan to pick out geth infiltrators. They were very happy to approve that proposal.”

“So that’s where all the extra security came from,” Shepard mused. “Although…”

“I know,” Kaidan interrupted. “She had some choice words about C-Sec’s implementation when I asked her about it.”

“I should hope so,” Shepard said sardonically.

“You know, Shepard,” Kaidan said tentatively, “I’ve been wondering; just what was it like coming back from the dead. Do you remember anything?”

Shepard was silent for a moment.

“Shepard? If you don’t want to talk about it, that’s…”

“No, it’s okay. I just realized that you’re the first person to ask me that,” Shepard said with a sad smile. “I don’t really remember anything; not from when I was actually dead. I was losing consciousness as my suit ruptured, then the next thing I knew there was some sort of commotion, something about how I wasn’t ready yet, and Miranda was looking down at me, though I didn’t know who she was at the time. When I woke up properly, the station was under attack. Everything else is a complete blank; like waking up from a dreamless sleep.”

“Wow,” Kaidan said after a short silence. “I think maybe you had the right idea when you mentioned trying not to think about it.”

Shepard nodded in agreement. “You know, I actually spent that entire mission waiting for _someone_ to ask me that question. I don’t know if they just weren’t interested or if they were afraid to ask. It feels good to finally talk about it with someone.”

“You know I’m always here for that, Shepard,” Kaidan promised.

“I know,” Shepard said, smiling, “I think that’s one of the things I missed most during the Collector mission. The rest of the crew was great – old and new – but it still didn’t feel quite right without you there. It’s good to have you back.”

“It’s good to be back.” 

* * *

A/N: Without the reconciliation arc, I figured there would be no reason to take Kaidan out of the action, so I had him remember his powers.

Also, a couple notes over how things would have gone with Ashley. When the first Reaper shot the HQ, she would have been standing in a different spot and had to dodge a flying table, while she would have solved the confrontation with Eva by dropping a grenade between the two of them and letting that knock her to safety.


	5. Chapter 5

The _Normandy_ returned to the Citadel after the events on Sur’Kesh to gather supplies and make preparations for curing the genophage. While he was walking through the markets on the presidium, Shepard saw Kaidan talking to a woman in Alliance fatigues. Curious, he started to walk over to them.

“… helped, but it didn’t make up for the lack of experience and training,” Shepard heard the woman say with a slight accent.

“I know,” Kaidan said morosely. “We can’t afford to ease them into things either. I’ll think of something. I just… oh. Hey, Shepard.” Kaidan waved as he saw Shepard coming.

“Hey, Kaidan. Everything okay?” Shepard asked.

“Yeah. We were just talking about the war effort.” Kaidan gestured to the woman.

“It’s an honor to meet you, Commander. Rahna Sadik,” she introduced herself as she shook Shepard’s hand.

“Right, Kaidan’s mentioned you a few times.”

“Everything he says about me is a filthy lie, I assure you,” Rahna said playfully.

“Of course,” Shepard said, smiling. “So, what were you talking about?”

“Biotic troop deployments,” Kaidan explained. “After you were arrested, we were all looking for ways to prepare before the Reapers showed up. I don’t have to tell you how even one biotic can influence a battle, so I tried to rally the ones that weren’t already in the military.”

“That’s how we first met each other again,” Rahna added. “I’m on the board of the Radiant Foundation.”

“Why is it named that?” Shepard asked.

“The _Radiant_ was the transport that blew up over Singapore about thirty-six years ago,” Kaidan explained. "Can’t say I like that they named themselves after the incident that exposed me, but with its connections and the number of residents, it seemed like a good place to go and try to get the word out to biotics and convince them to enlist.”

“Residents?” Shepard said, concerned. “That sounds like…”

“It’s nothing like the cult we raided three years ago,” Kaidan said emphatically. “It’s an advocacy group. It only really became prominent while you were… gone. That’s probably why you’re not familiar with it.”

“With so many biotics rejected by their families, and with so few job opportunities outside of the military,” Rahna added, “shelter is a top priority with any biotic advocacy organization. I’m sure you’re familiar with all of that.”

“Not really,” Shepard admitted awkwardly. “I’ve run into a few idiots over the years, but my biotics didn’t appear until I inhaled eezo dust when I was a teenager, and they weren’t detected until after I enlisted a year later, so I never really had to worry about that kind of thing.”

“Lucky you,” Rahna replied darkly.

“Anyway,” Kaidan interrupted, “the chairman of the Radiant Foundation is Carl Juarez; another friend of ours from BAat. I went to him and laid out everything we knew about the Reapers and what it would take to defeat them. Not everyone on the board believed me, but enough did that they let me talk to the residents and got me in touch with similar groups.”

“Before that, I had no idea he was so eloquent,” Rahna said, amused. “The Alliance experienced a massive leap in recruiting rates among biotics, as did several private military contractors. Not as much as we had been hoping, but that fixed itself once the invasion started.”

“That’s what we were talking about when you arrived. The ones that didn’t enlist until the invasion started don’t have the training or the experience everyone else does, and I’m sure I don’t have to tell you that we can’t afford to ease people into things. I’ve been sending them strategies I already know work against Reaper forces, but that only goes so far,” Kaidan explained.

“There’s nothing else people can do?” Shepard asked.

“Biotic leaders have been brainstorming, and we’ve been getting in as much training in as little time as possible, but we are running out of time,” Rahna added.

“Yeah. All I can think of is hoping enough people survive and build up experience that way,” Shepard responded sadly.

“There are some other ideas, but…” Suddenly, Rahna’s omni-tool started beeping. She looked slightly alarmed as she read the message. “I’m so sorry. Something happened and my unit has to deploy earlier than we thought.”

“What’s wrong,” Kaidan asked, concerned.

“It’s classified; even we won’t know until we get there.”

“Okay. Be careful out there,” Kaidan said.

“You know that might not be possible, but I’ll try,” Rahna replied sadly, before turning to Shepard. “I’m glad I had the chance to meet you, Commander.”

“It was a pleasure,” Shepard said, shaking her hand. “Good luck out there.”

“To all of us,” she declared, then walked away.

Shepard waited until Rahna was out of ear-shot before asking Kaidan, “are you okay with how things ended up between the two of you?”

“I think so,” Kaidan said with a shrug. “You know, I didn’t even know she was on the board of the Radiant Foundation when I went to talk to Carl. It was a bit of a shock to both of us.”

“How did it go?” Shepard asked.

Kaidan chuckled. “It was about as awkward as you would expect. After I talked to the board, she asked to talk to me privately. We talked for hours; about Brain Camp, how things ended between us last time, what we’ve both done since then. I mean, it’s been eighteen years. I knew I had changed, but for some reason I wasn’t expecting her to. I think it was for the better, though.”

“So you two are okay?”

“Yeah. She even introduced me to her family. Her husband’s a good guy from what I saw. He’s not a biotic, but he enlisted just the same once he was convinced that the Reapers are real. Meeting their children, though…”

“What?” Shepard asked, raising an eyebrow.

“They’re nice kids,” Kaidan insisted. “It’s just that meeting someone who could have been my daughter if things had gone differently was a bit surreal.”

“I would imagine,” Shepard replied, chuckling. “So, no regrets?”

“There’s always going to be that sense of ‘what could have been,’ but we were apart for a long time. I care enough to just be happy for her. She deserves to move on and be happy.”

“What about you?” Shepard asked coyly. “Have you moved on to anyone?”

Kaidan gave a small laugh. “Well, there’s been a few people over the years, but I’m still figuring out if there’s anyone now.”

“Let me know once you’ve got it sorted out,” Shepard said, smirking.

“Will do,” Kaidan replied, giving a mock salute. “Anyway, I’ve got a few other things to take care of, then I’ll see you back on the _Normandy_.”

“Right. See you there, Kaidan.”

* * *

A/N

I did my best to make it possible to remove the references to Shepard’s biotics without it being noticeable. Just assume that’s the case if Shepard is a non-biotic class.

Also, if anyone is wondering, the bit about Shepard not having biotics until inhaling eezo dust at the age of seventeen, then being detected after enlisting is from Word of God. It’s the canonical explanation for why Shepard wasn’t at BAaT and why he’s older than other L3s.


	6. Chapter 6

Shepard jumped through the vent in the elevator, followed closely by Kaidan, and then Garrus.

While the _Normandy_ returned to the Citadel after curing the Genophage, Cerberus launched an attack. Hearing from Councilor Valern that Udina was in league with Cerberus sent Shepard’s team tearing through the Citadel, trying to catch up with him and the other two councilors.

Careful maneuvering on Udina’s part had resulted in the deaths of the Council’s guards. With no one to protect them, Sparatus fell back on the military training received by all able-bodied turians while Tevos supported him with her biotics. Shepard had no doubt that he and his squad could kill all three councilors with little difficulty if it came to a fight, but to prevent a diplomatic nightmare, they had to convince Tevos and Sparatus of the truth.

They could hear Sparatus shouting as they left the elevator. “We can’t get out from this platform! Everyone back in the elevator!” Sparatus froze when he saw Shepard’s squad.

“Councilors,” Shepard began as Garrus locked the door.

“They’re with Cerberus!” Udina declared.

“Councilors, we can…” Kaidan tried, raising a hand to placate them.

“Nobody move!” Sparatus ordered.

Udina seized the opportunity. “We should have known. Cerberus wouldn’t have just let Shepard turn himself in. He must have been a sleeper agent this whole time.”

“No! That’s not…” Shepard tried.

“Our guards getting killed, getting cornered here: Shepard must have been planning this the whole time!” Udina continued.

“That’s not true!” Shepard snapped. “You’ve been fooled, all of you! Udina’s behind the attack. Councilor Valern confirmed it.”

“Please,” Udina scoffed. “You have no proof. You never do.”

“Are you sure about that, ‘Councilor’?” Kaidan asked, activating his omni-tool and quickly tapping the keys.

Councilor Valern’s voice sounded over the platform. “Shepard, it’s Udina: he’s going to kill us all.”

“T-They must have fabricated that,” Udina declared, shocked.

“The hell we did!” Shepard barked. “We recorded that when we saved Valern from Cerberus assassins!”

“Before killing him yourselves, no doubt!” Udina argued back.

“Enough!” Sparatus shouted, waving his gun at Shepard’s squad. “You can’t expect to trust you when you burst through a door, pointing your guns at us during the middle of an attack orchestrated by a group Shepard acknowledges working with in the past.”

“But you suddenly trust Udina?” Shepard asked. “Wasn’t he the one who talked you into locking down the _Normandy_ so we couldn’t get to Ilos and stop Saren?”

“And wasn’t Udina the most adamant about Shepard’s relationship with Cerberus when he was asking for help against the Collectors?” Kaidan added.

“They’re right,” Tevos said before Udina could retort. “We’ve distrusted Shepard before, and it has not helped us.”

“I-I’m not…” Sparatus faltered.

“Councilors,” Kaidan said, “you made us Spectres because you trusted us to keep the galaxy’s best interests at heart, and that’s exactly what we’ve been doing all this time, even when you wouldn’t admit it. And now _everything_ that we’ve warned you about has happened, so trust us now. Trust that _you_ made the right decision when you gave us this responsibility.”

“We don’t have time to argue,” Udina huffed as he stormed over to the shuttle console.

Sparatus just held his position for a moment before closing his eyes and lowering his weapon. “Udina,” he said, turning to his fellow councilor, “step away from the console.”

Tevos wordlessly moved to enforce Sparatus’s command.

“To Hell with this!” Udina declared, shoving Tevos to the ground and pulling out a pistol.

“He’s got a gun!” Garrus shouted.

Before Udina had time to raise his weapon, four gunshots rang out over the platform and Udina silently collapsed. Sparatus and Shepard’s squad lowered their weapons, all of them trying to process what they had just done. Before they had a chance, they heard the distinctive sound of a blowtorch applied to a door.

They all spun around, Tevos activating her biotics while everyone else raised their guns. Shepard wanted to laugh when the door opened to reveal Bailey and a C-Sec technician.

Bailey bluntly told the Council that Shepard had saved them all. Everyone was shocked when Sparatus offered a sincere thank you. When Shepard angrily remarked on what it took to finally get them on board, Tevos could only say that they were unsure. The Council wisely chose not to remark on Kaidan’s disgusted grunt.

As everyone filed into the elevator, Shepard stopped for moment to consider Udina’s corpse. Whatever he personally felt about Udina, it still didn’t sit right that he had killed a member of the Council. A hand on his shoulder caught his attention. For the moment, the sight of Kaidan’s reassuring smile was enough, and the two followed everyone else.

* * *

It was hours before Shepard finally returned to the _Normandy_. As he entered the airlock, Shepard found Kaidan in the process of closing his omni-tool. It was very obvious that Kaidan was upset about something, especially since he started when Shepard got his attention.

“Kaidan, are you okay?”

“Yeah,” Kaidan said unconvincingly. “Just… trying to wrap my head around what we did.”

“Yeah. I’m still not sure we did the right thing,” Shepard admitted.

“Neither of us liked Udina. At all. But… I always thought he really was trying to look out for humanity when he wasn’t climbing the ladder, even if he was an idiot about it. Did you ever imagine he could do something like this?”

“No. After he kept harping about me working with Cerberus… but we all had to make a judgment call, and he wasn’t backing down.”

“I guess you’re right,” Kaidan said.

“That’s not all it was though,” Shepard pressed. “And don’t try to tell me it is. We’ve worked too closely for too long.”

Kaidan sighed. “Okay, there is more, but I’d rather not talk about it here. Besides, Anderson and Hackett will want to talk to you about this.”

“Yeah, but I _will_ be checking on you later, Kaidan,” Shepard said, leaving no room for argument.

The two entered the _Normandy_ without another word.

* * *

Shepard found Kaidan in the starboard lounge like he usually did. Kaidan was leaning against the window, just watching the stars.

“It looks so peaceful from here,” Kaidan said before Shepard could speak. “You wouldn’t think that the Reapers are slaughtering so many people. I want to be out there with them, but I also want to be here, you know?”

“I know. Thinking of anyone in particular?”

Kaidan sighed heavily. “I heard from my mom. She managed to get to a communicator while we were fighting Cerberus. She’s safe for now, but Dad’s… he’s MIA. He’s presumed…” Kaidan couldn’t bring himself to finish his sentence.

Shepard put a hand on Kaidan’s shoulder, getting the other man to face him. “What happened? You said they got out of Vancouver?”

“They did. But Dad was in the Alliance. As soon as he was sure Mom was relatively safe, he reported for active duty.”

Shepard grimaced. Of course. The resistance needed everybody it could get.

“Mom’s alone out there now,” Kaidan continued, keeping his voice monotone to prevent a breakdown, “in all this.”

“I’m glad you told me,” Shepard said sincerely. “You don’t have to go through this alone. There’s more to it though, isn’t there?”

Kaidan sat down heavily on one of the lounge’s seats. Shepard followed suit.

“I didn’t leave things on the best terms with my parents,” Kaidan admitted. “That’s actually why they were heading to the orchard that day. Dad and I had gotten into a huge fight.”

“I was under the impression that you two were pretty close. What happened?”

“We were, but Dad is an Alliance hardliner. If they said something, he didn’t question it, and I don’t have to tell you what they were saying about the Reapers.”

Shepard sighed deeply. “And he didn’t believe you when you tried to tell people the truth.”

Kaidan laughed bitterly. “I even told him about our talk with Sovereign itself. He was convinced that it must have been some sort of VI interface, because why would the Alliance lie to us? It built up for more than two years, and then…”

“It exploded,” Shepard finished for him.

“Big time. It was the day before the attack. After the mess with the Alpha Relay, I knew the clock was ticking, so I stepped up on trying to get the Alliance and the Council to acknowledge the threat. Dad said something about you being crazy, I took exception, and everything went downhill from there. We started screaming at each other, he called me delusional and accused me of trying to create a panic because I couldn’t stand that you weren’t being propped up on a pedestal anymore. I called him a tool, an idiot, and a stooge. We were about ready to punch each other, but he stormed out first. That was,” Kaidan’s voice broke, “the last time I talked to him.”

Shepard didn’t know what to say. All he could think to do was wrap an arm around Kaidan’s shoulders.

“You know,” Kaidan continued, “I probably wouldn’t have recovered from Brain Camp if it hadn’t been for him. Mom was great, too, don’t get me wrong, but the most violent thing she’s ever done is swat a fly; killing someone by accident wasn’t exactly something she was equipped for. He got me through that, and then the last thing I said to him was…” Kaidan couldn’t bring himself to finish that sentence. “Even knowing that he must have realized I was right after all…”

“Being right about the Reapers has always felt empty,” Shepard said sadly.

“Yeah. Is it wrong that… part of me wants to hear that he’s dead, just so I don’t have to wonder if he was indoctrinated, or turned into a husk, or whatever else the Reapers felt like doing to him?” Kaidan asked.

“There was a time when I would have said yes, but that was before I even heard about the Reapers, much less what they can do. Kaidan, you can’t give up hope. As long as you don’t get confirmation that he’s dead, there’s always a chance, no matter how small,” Shepard insisted.

“I want to believe that,” Kaidan said sadly. “You know, my mom’s always wanted to go off-world. Maybe when this is all over, I can take her.”

“Sounds good,” Shepard said. “If we pull this off, there’s going to be a hell of a reunion all over.”

“Hugging in the streets, screaming and crying,” Kaidan added, sounding a bit more cheerful.

“Something to look forward to,” Shepard agreed.

Kaidan nodded. “Shepard, thanks,” he said, squeezing Shepard’s hand.

“Always.”

* * *

A/N This is as good a place as any to end; there wouldn’t be any appreciable changes to canon after this point.


End file.
